


The Way That You Write Reminds Me of A Book I Once Read Long Ago Where A Man Went Crazy

by kyuukurochan



Series: Eldritch Horror [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Psychology, Suicidal Thoughts, triggers possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 14:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyuukurochan/pseuds/kyuukurochan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They must know it was the rats; the slithering, scurrying rats whose scampering will never let me sleep; the daemon rats that race behind the padding in this room and beckon me down to greater horrors than I have ever known; the rats they can never hear; the rats, the rats in the walls."H.P. Lovecraft- The Rats in the Walls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "incident" report.

> "They are trying, too, to suppress most of the facts concerning the priory. When I speak of poor Norrys, they accuse me of a hideous thing, but they must know that I did not do it. They must know it was the rats; the slithering, scurrying rats whose scampering will never let me sleep; the daemon rats that race behind the padding in this room and beckon me down to greater horrors than I have ever known; the rats they can never hear; the rats, the rats in the walls."

_The Rats in The Walls-_ H.P. Lovecraft

* * *

 

PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION

(Furthest Veil)

Patient:Karkat Vantas

Overseeing Doctor:Rose Lalonde

Dates of Evaluation: 04/12/12, 04/13/12

Case No.: 413,612-g

Building No.: 8

Admission Date: 04/11/12

Date of Report: 04/14/12

PURPOSE FOR EVALUATION:

This is the seventh inpatient admission for this 15 year old, now single, troll male who is a high school student. He was admitted due to symptoms of major depression, schizophrenia, possible psychotic features, bipolar disorder, history of violence and/or violent tendencies, and possible amnesia, caused by traumatic events that are being investigated as to the cause of him or as a witness to the events.

The purpose of this evaluation is to decide whether or not the patient is suitable for juidiciary trial on a mental level. Due to previous concerns with mental health, previous inpatient procedures, a history of suicide attempts, failure to follow a medication regiment, and no clear memories of the incident later described, the patient is placed by the state in our care to give a medical diagnosis.

 

ASSESSMENT PROCEDURES:

Mr. Vantas participated in 2 hours of testing and 26 hours of diagnostic interviews over a period of two days. Tests were administered by Kanaya Maryam, M.S. Rose Lalonde, M.A., and Terezi Pyrope, P.D.. Tests were interpreted by Feferi Peixes, M.A.. 

Due to the nature of the case, Terezi Pyrope, P.D. has confiscated the test protocol and results, and may only be reviewed by those in the test as per federal law. Anyone wishing to examine the documents must fill out the proper protocol before having the access to review. All other information in the case document is of free viewability to those in the building for assessment purposes. 

 

BACKGROUND INFORMATION:

Much of the Mr. Vantas' background can be viewed in reports 413,612a-f. Extensive history can be found in each of them, and merely listed here as a result.

1996-Patient birth year.

1997-Patient's parents' year of death.

December 1998-Patient's adoption year.

2001-Patient shows signs of depression and schizophrenia and is evaulated. Case number 413,612a is administered, patient is released after 2 days. Recommendations of overseeing doctor following testing: Patient is to remain in the adoptive household and follow medicine regiment for 2 weeks for further observation. Following 2 weeks, the patient was taken off of the regiment, and deemed to be adapting.

October 2002-Patient is removed from the adoptive household, following a violent outburst on another one of the children in care. State took custody for a period of 3 months, and then was placed in another adoptive home. Patient shows signs of adapting to new home, and allowed to remain for a small duration of two months. After the duration, the family agrees that a permanent placement is allowed.

December 2004-Patient exhibits signs of bipolar disorder, and is readmitted for evaluation. Case number 413,612b is administered, patient is released back into state custody after 2 weeks. Recommendations of overseeing doctor following testing: Patient is to be removed from adoptive household and the household is to be evaluated by the state for failure to provide "nuturing home". Patient is to remain in state custody for one year and monitor medicine reaction for bipolar and schizophrenia. Patient's motivation is extremely low, and it is recommended that the state keep hold of Mr. Vantas until a new household is trusted by not only by the state, but also the patient.

March 2006-Patient is adopted into third household. Patient returns to therapy and complains of "voices", which is filed in case 413,612b. 

January 2007-Patient is removed for violent outburst and placed into fourth household. Patient complains in therapy about moving schools, filed in case 413,612c.

2008-Patient shows signs of depression and is reevaluted. Case number 413,612c is administered, and patient is removed from previous medications and prescribed medication for major depression, following new information from January 2007. Patient returns home after one day.

April 2009-Patient attempts suicide and is reevaluated. Case number 413,612d is administered, and kept for overnight observation. Patient is diagnosised with major depression and bipolar disorder. Patient's medication dose is elevated, and given new prescription for bipolar disorder. Patient following first medicine treatments is hopeful.

June 2009-Patient attempts suicide and is reevaluated. Case number 413,612e is administered, and kept for week observation. Following social problems with peers, patient is removed from school. Patient's dose is elevated, and given new prescription for insomnia. Patient has several problems with staff, and needs to be restrained.

August 2010-Patient is reevaluted and given permission to return to school.

May 2011-Patient attempts suicide and exhibits violent episode and is reevaluated. Case number 413,612f is administed, and kept for two week observation. Patient claims lack of sleep, amnesia, the reappearance of "voices" from case 413,612b, and depression to be the cause. Patient is to meet for daily therapy with a new therapist, following the retirement of the lifelong therapist of Aranea Serket M.A.. Patient does not seem hopeful of new therapist, and may need relocation at a later time.

 

G CASE INFO:

December 20th, 2011-Patient in therapy desires to be put in for inpatient treatment. Mr. Vantas spends two weeks in observation, and is given a new medicine regiment following procedure.

January 17th, 2012-Patient returns to school and is hopeful and motivated following treatment. "Voices" are no longer heard, and dosage remains at the new levels. 

Feburary 23rd, 2012-Patient's current adoptive mother passes away. Patient is placed in inpatient for overnight observation and released to current adoptive father.

April 1st, 2012-Patient in therapy exhibits schizophrenia tendencies and dosage is elevated.

April 3rd, 2012-Patient reports "voices" are reappearing. Dosage is again elevated and patient does not comply with orders to remain overnight. 

April 4th, 2012-Patient does not appear for therapy. 

April 6th, 2012-Patient returns to therapy, and admits not following medication regiment. Advised strongly to continue.

April 7th, 2012-Refuses to partake in inpatient overnight stay, against therapist's recommendation.

April 10th, 2012-The "Incident", as it will now be known for the duration of the review.

 

MENTAL STATUS EXAMINATION:

Following the results of the "incident", Mr. Vantas was taken in for questioning by the Veil police department. Examinations by doctors on call were un-cooperative, and had to be restrained as a result. Examinations by case doctors, case therapists, and physicians were taken once the patient calmed down. 

Examinations revealed a highly alert individual, with distractibility and little to no conversation, and disillusioned speech patterns. Verbal content was limited, and non-fluent, mostly in mumbles or shrill shrieks. Vocabularly was highly suggestive of violence to those on staff and the police department that remained nearby. Law enforcement officials were asked to leave, and his speech slowed, but still offered no insight to duress. 

Patient's memory patterns were sudden and abrupt, and orientation was poor. Patient could only tell person, but not time, place, the accountability for the "incident", or the memory of certain keypoints in different cases for remote recall of events. Factual information were the exception. Thought process was deemed "messy", and could not divulge information about medical needs or medicines that may or may not have been administered while kept in holding. Social judgement was highly questionable, after attempting to violent bite worker, Dirk Strider, during meal time. Mr. Strider is no longer permitted to make meal rounds in the block area for fear of safety and the patient's regression. 

Mr. Vantas also proved to be unfamiliar with the treatment goals on several occassions and is not permitted to interact with other patients as per federal mandate, and also per hospital mandate.

 

RESULTS OF EVALUATION:

Following prescription regiment, patient has begun to regain recollections and was able to answer questions for case doctors. 

On April 10th, 2012, at 8:50am, Mr. Vantas entered the school building, as told by adoptive father. Patient confirms.

At 8:54am, eye witness to the "incident" introduced the patient to a new student at Sburb High School. Patient confirms and admits details are clouded after this and can only give general feelings and confirmations of police report statements.

At 8:55am, other witnesses report Mr. Vantas leaping and attacking Mr. Gamzee Makara, troll male, highschool student, 17 years old, the victim in the judicial case. Patient confirms, and replies that the "voices" warned him about the student before and he needed to protect the human and troll races.

At 8:56am, witnesses claim that Mr. Vantas scratched Mr. Makara with his right fingernails, wherein he exclaimed "you are just missing these and you're him." Patient appears not to remember the statement or whom he was referring to.

At 8:57am, two teachers, Mr. Horuss Zahhak and [redacted] Scratch, M.A., were called to the scene and broke apart the fight. Patient confirms and explained that the "voices did not mean to bring harm on the other two".

At 9:03am, patient exhibited violence against the cops that reported to the scene. Patient confirms but denies wrong doing at the time, saying that he was "ordered to prevent them from adminstering aid to the victim".

 

SUMMARY:

The police report confirms that at 9:32am, Mr. Makara was pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital, due to extensive blood lost from the wounds, paired with previously reported high blood pressure that he was prescribed medicine for. Police reports several long wounds, deeply gouged approximately 3-4 inches into his chest, reported to be from the patient's fingernails, where skin and blood was found under the patient's nails.

In short, this violent outburst is not quite uncharacteristic for Mr. Vantas. Mr. Vantas, as seen in other case files, has had a history of violent tendencies, ranging from personal violence to violence of those around him. This is unfortunately not the first time a victim was taken to a hospital as a result of one of the violent episodes. Following these episodes, the patience shows remorse, however, after the events of the incident, the patient exhibited one of two things: 

Directly after the incident and before restarting his prescribed medicine, Mr. Vantas demonstrated to the police that he was not at all remorseful. He is reported as "giggling", "indifferent", and talking directly to corners of the room, insisting that there was other people in the room when even security tapes confirm there were no other persons in the room unaccounted for. 

After being referred to the hospital for evaluations and under his directed medicine, Mr. Vantas is marked as "frantic, paranoid, delusional, and jumpy" by the police that patrol, staff, overseeing doctors, and the other patients, but can differentiate morally wrong and right. He refuses to comment on whether or not he feels remorse.

As it is inferred, normal proceedings for his cases have not be successful, and most likely will not. Following each new symptom, the previous case doctors had felt that the answer was more medicine and removing him from the environment. On the contrary, I believe that neither of these will be able to solve the problem.

The other aspect of this case that is different from the others is the personal attack usually categorized by all previous episodes, whether it be a parent, a sibling, a peer, or even himself. Following investigations, it was proven without a doubt, that Mr. Vantas and Mr. Makara had never met before in this life. Mr. Vantas refuses to comment in agreement or not.

Mr. Vantas no longer speaks of the "voices" talking to him, and denies that they do when inquired after taking his medication. However, if these can be linked as the cause of all of the violent outbursts, then these will need to be examined further.

In conclusion, Karkat Vantas, when on his medication knowingly can be held accountable for his actions. However, Mr. Vantas was not on his medication, and may not be considered suitable for deciphering the difference, following the death of his adoptive mother. 

It is our belief that Mr. Vantas should not be allowed on trial until we can deem if it is necessary for him to be considered mentally of sound, mind, and body.

 

RECOMMENDATIONS:

It has come to the full, uncontested agreement between all those involved with Mr. Vantas' case that he is to remain in the care of his case workers until further notice. It has also been decided that he is to be carefully monitored on his medication, and have the dosages changed or upped, dependant on the situation at the time. At this time we can offer nothing concrete as to his situation, and medically can not fathom a permanent solution due to the nature of the "incident".

 

Terezi Pyrope, P.D., Kanaya Maryam, M.S. Rose Lalonde, M.A., Feferi Peixes, M.A.

* * *

There is a yellow sticky note attached to the manilla folder. "NO STAFF IS PERMITTED CONTACT WITH K. VANTAS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE -T. Pyrope V.P.D." is written in scribbly red ink.

"Except for case workers under police supervision." is furthered in a purple inked loopy scrawl. 

On the manilla folder, under that it reads "Each Case Worker Is Only Permitted One Day A Week To Prevent Subject Stimulus" in perfect Jade script.

"and witness ~~clampering~~ tampering!" in fuschia. 

 


	2. Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat sits down with his case worker.

"Mr. Vantas, please take a seat," you wave a hand in the direction of the couch and he looks at you with a face full of disdain. The two police officers behind him shut the door, and you hear the lock click. 

You turn behind you and wave at the window, where a small green light flickers on and you turn back to him. He stands there, tugging at the edges of his hospital appointed clothing, looking down at the ground. This seems to be his favorite pose. 

"Please, take a seat," you repeat, and he shuffles over to the couch. Looking over the room a couple times, he finally sat down, and then noticed the large window, well, the one way mirror to him. You doubt he didn't know he was being watched.

"Is that where they are?", he whispered, shifting his gaze over to you and then back to the window. You blink a few times in feigned confusion. 

"Is that where whom is, Mr. Vantas?" His eye twitches faintly and his gaze falls back upon you, a look of discomfort on his face. 

"Just...Karkat. You're a new worker, aren't you?" He squints one eye as if sizing you up, and you smile back at him faintly. 

"Yes, one of them. My name is Dr. Lalonde, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." You debate raising your hand to offer to shake his, but you feel like the police force stationed outside may not appreciate it. You keep your hands where it is, firmly clasped around your clipboard so that he cannot see your hands trembling. He makes no effort to return any of the sentiments, so you clear your throat. "So Karkat, can you tell me a little bit about your life?" He tilts his head to the side, before scowling. 

"You can read, can't you lady? You're holding my file." Taken aback, you shove the file under the clipboard and click your pen. 

"I don't want to partake in reading your life, Karkat. I want to experience it with you at the reigns, instead." You scribble down a note at the top of the manilla pad-combatant with authority, first name-

"Please, don't write anything down for the love of GOD." You jump and look at him, his face turning beat red. Was that anger, embarrassment? "Just, talk to me, okay?" You hear a noise behind you and you raise your hand-steady, steady out there, and slowly lower it. You bite your lip and set aside the clipboard, clicking your pen closed. 

"I apologize, Karkat. Is there anything else that you need then? I'd like to cater to your needs, first." Taking a deep breath, you relax into the chair and wait. He watches you, and then relaxes too. He sinks into the chair, slouching forward, and puts his head in his hands. 

"Don't ask me that. Don't fuc-don't ask me that." You turn back to your clipboard and fiddle with the papers. From his file, you pull out a stack of computer paper, scribbled and drawn on. 

"I wanted to ask you a vague question, so that you could take our meeting in a manner you wanted to follow. That may have been too big of a leap then. Should we continue with your homework from last time, with Dr. Peixes?" You hold up the stack of paper and he opens his mouth, and then shuts it quickly. He does this a few times before finally remarking,

"I like Feferi. She's nice." You smile at him, leaving the papers in your lap. 

"She is a very kind woman, yes, and wants to help you out as much as I do." He reaches up to scratch at his head, and then he turns away to stare at the door. Hie eyes widen and then he looks back. 

"What was your name?"

"My name? It's Dr.-"

"No, your name," he repeats, and his eyes flick to the mirror behind you. 

"Oh...my name is Rose. Dr. Rose Lalonde." You stress doctor, mentally taking note he only focuses on first names.

"Anyone can change their last name. I've changed mine a lot," as if reading your mind. Sharp one. You nod at him, your gaze following to his next target of focus, the window to the outside. There is rain outside, making it appear dark and dreary as the droplets of water assault the pane. 

"Karkat, if you'd like to look at something at any point in this session, please get up to go and look. I can assure you none of the windows in this building are able to break," you offer, and then instantly regret the decision. He leaps up and grabs one of the larger books from the table between you two, and runs to the window. You raise your hand again towards the mirror behind you and follow him quickly as he starts to bash the book against the window. It makes a loud hollow BANG each time the book and window collide, and you reach over and grab the book, pulling it from his grasp. "Not one of my books, Karkat. But see, it will not break." He raises his head to regard you, his eyes still wide and almost shaking. You carefully gesture back to the couches, and he stands still for a minute before retreating. 

You raise a hand to the pane, feeling it, before following suit. 

"So, let's take a moment to relax. Are your fears at rest with the window, now? Or is there something else troubling you?" You place the book on the clipboard on the table next to your chair, and pick up his writing that had tumbled to the floor. He shakes his head and he becomes interested in a spot on the floor. "Take a deep breath and relax, Karkat. Breathing is good." His chest rises and falls. "Good."

"Sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." You wave a hand at him and rearrange his papers.

"No harm done, Karkat. Let's go back to this for a second." You hold out the papers for him to see. "Was there something in here you wanted to talk about specifically?" 

He flicks his eyes up at you, and considers you as if you had three heads. "You read it."

"I-yes, yes I did. What do you want-"

"Just stop. Just run the goddamn session."

"Karkat, that wasn't what I me-"

"Just. Stop. Stop. Fucking. Stop."

Pushing the hair behind your ear, you flip to a page you'd dog eared. "Well, if you insist. Karkat, what I can tell from your writing is that you have an eloquent sentence structure, a fondness for ellipses, and direct influences from some specific writers. You also took the prompt itself and completely put your own spin on it; not that I am angry or anything, but I thought your prompt was to write from the eyes a witness on your life in the past two years, was it not?" Halfway through your critique, you pulled out your reading glasses and placed them on your nose, reading the notes that each one of the case workers, including Pyrope had jotted in the margins. You looked at him over the top of the paper, and he was speechless. 

"I...Well..."

"Go ahead, Karkat." 

"...I didn't want to write about that. I mean-I mean it started out that way, but then it just fucked wandered somewhere else, I guess. The fuck you want me to say?" The young man had a strange fondness of that word.

"That's not necessarily detrimental, Karkat. Your writing is very reminiscent of-"

"I know, I know. Teachers say that all the time." He looked down as if ashamed, and you cracked a smile. 

"That's not a bad thing, Karkat. I think it gives the situation a darker tone to it. Especially this line about the men of science refusing to allow your ideas. Perfect illusion to "Mountains of Madness"." He seemed to perk up a bit. "Tell me, the Karkat in this writing, is he you?" He looked at you in shock before surveying the room again.

"No, he's not me. I guess he's me, and should be me, but he isn't." You brightened at the confession. 

"Oh, so then this Karkat in the story...Tell me, does he feel the same way you do, about everything?"

"What? No, no, he's like perfect me. I'm so fucking worthless compared to that me, but he's like, future me, I guess? Or, no. He would be past me. Past me is suppose to be not as wise, I guess, and dumber. But I think now me is instead."

You leaned back in the chair, dropping the papers back in your lap. "What is different then, Karkat?" He regarded a spot on the couch before answering. 

"He doesn't hear them."

"Hear what, Karkat?"

" _Them,_ " he repeated, and you leaned closer towards him. He was still for a minute, before finally sighing and leaning in towards you. "Rose, you are not allowed to repeat this to anyone, just yet. Not the other doctors, not the others in this building, not the police especially. Because only  _you_ will fucking understand. No one else has."  _  
_

"I can't promise you that-"

"I'll tell the rest of them when they're fucking well and ready and I am. But you-you deserve to know." You nod, confused, but allowing him to go along. "Rose. You can't tell them, okay. I'll tell them. When I can. But not fucking now. Okay. Promise." You nod again, and he scowls. "I need you to fucking prom-"

"Yes, Karkat. I can keep it a secret until you are ready." It was a lie, truthfully, but he didn't know that the police had to legally bug the room in order for their sessions to continue. She would beg for forgiveness later, but if it were any other circumstances, confidentiality was supposed to be her priority, and for good reason. She couldn't now though, and it hurt. He leaned in closer, until their noses were barely touching, and spoke in a low whisper.

"Rose. You know them. The terrors. They hide in our walls. The hide in our cars, they hide in our computers, they hide in us. Rose. They want me to rebuild the whole thing. The whole thing-the whole thing past me did. The whole thing past all of us died in. They told me to take G-Gamzee, the only other one that remembers, and rebuild it all, Rose. The terrors.

They want us to do it all again.

_They want us to do it all again._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end. Thank you for reading, please enjoy the series, and please leave a comment-it helps me get better as a writer. Again, you can find my tumblr at kyuukurochan.tumblr.com.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, let me know if you find anything, I still have no beta reader. One more chapter of this, but it will be fairly short compared to this.


End file.
